Puppy Soufflé

Rainbow in the sky

Tonight as we settled the girls into bed they happened to see out the front window an intense rainbow. I didn't get my camera in time to catch the double. We talked about the rainbow and what it means in various cultures. Of hope, of life and afterlife.
They also know that it is simply light broken into all its colors by the droplets of rain. Rain is symbolic of sadness but also of cleansing. Very powerful metaphors.

Lessons I am learning

That we can always learn to do better and hopefully will before something bad happens. There's always room for improvement.

That shit happens to even the best and most responsible people. This doesn't mean we don't try to do our best but there should be room for forgiveness because most of us really are doing the best we can at that particular moment. This includes forgiving myself because only then can I share this compassion with others with any sincerity.

And finally, while we still have to get on with our daily lives that's not the same as losing hope.

I vow to work on becoming even more vigilant and more diligent along with occasionally allowing myself to breathe in order to appreciate each fragile moment I have with those I love.

Week of Hell

My poor Skye. I let you down. I failed you. Where are you, you crazy boy?

Thanks to everyone who offered support and advice. I am so glad to have friends. The kind who try to help and are compassionate. I know others may be angry. I understand them. I am angry with myself too.

I've given a flyer to as many vets in the area as I can. I'm going down to the Humane Society again. Someone told me just calling isn't enough because she had an experience where the staff person didn't know her dog was there. And ads have been placed on Craigslist and in The Columbian. Shelley Camm (have we ever met?) forwarded the ad to the K9Amber Alert. She also offered other suggestions and I'm working on following through on what I hadn't already tried. I've let all our neighbors know to keep an eye out. I've been out in our "backyard" and over behind our closest neighbors.

We've replaced the bungee cord with a chain. We were already making plans for more kennels and fencing the perimeter.

We had a dream in moving here. Its myth of peace. But now? The illusion is shattered completely. So many square miles. Which path to choose?
The hardest choice for me is giving up. I am so sad. And tired.